Actor Clinton mocks at himself

WASHINGTON, MAY. 1. With the end of his term inching near, the U.S. President, Mr. Bill Clinton joked on Saturday night that he has much to keep him busy before he goes from leader of the free world to regular guy - like answering the phones at the White House, preparing his wife's lunch and trading online.

At his final black-tie dinner as President with the White House press corps, Mr. Clinton presented a video that showed a pathetic President trying mightily to remain relevant. He was shown giving a news conference before a lone sleeping reporter, hustling after Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton's limousine with a bag lunch in his hand, and playing a video game in the White House Situation Room.

Mr. Clinton usually bristles at suggestions that he is a lame duck leader whose accomplishments are behind him. But in his stand-up routine at the annual White House correspondents' dinner, Mr. Clinton poked fun at himself with a vengeance. ``I'm not concerned with my memoirs - I'm concerned with my resume,'' the President joked. ``I've been getting a lot of tips on how to write it, mostly from my staff. They really seem to be up on this stuff.''

Mr. Clinton went on to detail the rough draft of his curriculum vitae. ``They tell me I have to use the active voice for the resume,'' he said. ``You know, things like `Commanded U.S. armed forces,' `Ordered air strikes,' `Served three terms as President.' Everybody embellishes a little.'' He continued: ``Designed, built and painted bridge to 21st century. Supervised Vice-President's invention of the Internet. Generated, attracted, heightened and maintained controversy.'' Aides say that Mr. Clinton enjoys the opportunity to hobnob with his sometime tormentors and tweak the seriousness of official Washington. Over the last seven years, he has regularly attended the reporters' dinners, even in the midst of controversy.

At last year's White House correspondents' dinner, Mr. Clinton shared the stage with Mr. Michael Isikoff, the Newsweek reporter who broke the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The year before, a conservative magazine invited as its guest Ms. Paula Jones, who had filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the President. This year, with impeachment well behind him, Mr. Clinton lampooned his Congressional critics, who continue to press forward with investigations of his administration. ``You know,'' he said, ``the clock is running down on the Republicans in Congress, too. I feel for them. I do. They've only got seven more months to investigate me. That's a lot of pressure.

``So little time, so many unanswered questions. For example, over the last few months I've lost 10 pounds. Where did they go? Why haven't I produced them to the independent counsel?'' Watching Mr. Clinton from the audience were cast members of the television drama ``West Wing,'' perhaps picking up future story lines for their spoof of the Presidency.

Laughing at Mr. Clinton's side was the comedian Jay Leno. ``Believe me, there is no one sadder than I am that you're leaving,'' said Leno, who has made Clinton jokes a staple of his late-night monologue on television. Mr. Clinton responded: ``No matter how mean he is to me, I just love this guy because, together, we give hope to gray-haired, chunky baby boomers everywhere.''

- New York Times

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Section  : International
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