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Tasteful decoy

Purobi Menon

Wining and dining can be a heady experience. Sensual, too, especially when you have wine coursing through your veins in a delicious mocktail that leaves you ``all in a flutter'' (that's the name). And when the lotus posture is not the ancie nt yogic asana but a comfortable seating experience designed to take you through your meal with the least amount of intrusion.

This haven for epicures seeking nirvana is Nothing Authentic in the Capital's New Friends Colony. It is high on ambience, eclectic in element, funky in its fusion of food and flavour and sensorily stimulating.

Being there is like a journey through time. Once inside, time stands still, literally. You glance at the larger-than-life time-piece and realise with a shock that its hands are missing. The message is clear. You are not meant to be counting the minutes w hile you are here.

Even as you admire the Mona Lisa on the wall, you wonder if your eyes are playing tricks before you realise she's got a squint! And there's more -- the exercise-challenged Garfield on a treadmill and a sartorially depleted Richie Rich! While you are in t here, nothing is for real because reality is dross.

This magic of maya has been carefully crafted by Jiten Bhalla, an engineer-turned-restaurateur who pooled his creative talent with interior designer Deepak Kalra and his architect-father, R.K. Bhalla, to bring to life his fantasy. The elements of a pub, a nightclub and a restaurant have been seamlessly fused. Three distinct seating styles have been created in different colour schemes. A sombre blue-grey seating in wrought iron with slivers of glass as a window to the world; for those who like the limeli ght, a vibrant blue on triangular perches on a circular glass floor with a simulated river; and the pastel lotus-shaped seaters (which are patented) for a cosy dining experience.

The menu reads like a Who's Who of cuisine. And you are spoilt for choice from Thai to Arabic with a liberal array of Mexican, Italian and Chinese. All crafted to suit the Indian tastebuds (therefore, the name, because nothing's authentic) and impeccably presented. Our tastebuds don't like shocks, our senses do.

For starters, the Quesadillas (Rs. 95) are a great turnaround on our parathas. They are loaded with cheese, tomatoes and jalapenos. The Chicken Sate Gado Gado (Rs. 75), grilled chicken on sticks, is particularly exciting teamed with a creamy peanut sauce . The Mozarella Cheese Sticks (Rs. 65) with salsa and sour cream are a tongue-tickling treat. You could also try Shrimps Bruschetta -- marinated shrimps arranged on wheels of bread accompanied by a delightful sweet-and-chilli sauce (Rs. 95).

For the main course, the Cowboy Grill is a runaway success -- tender chicken breasts dusted with red chilli served on a platter of Mexican rice and crispy greens (Rs. 165). The Shish Taouk, an Arabic kebab, belies its fiery appearance to reveal tender ch icken with just a hint of spice (Rs. 195). The Broiled Pomfret with herbs is poached to perfection and is a dieter's delight partnered by steamed greens (Rs. 195). The Stuffed Hooters are a house speciality -- chicken breasts stuffed with black cumin and flavoured cottage cheese (Rs. 195).

In the epicure's lexicon, the word harakiri does not exist. So I went ahead and indulged in the classic Italian favourite, Tiramisu (Rs. 90). The cake was not quite as spongy as it should be, soaking in whipped cream and yoghurt. But the brave never falt er and I was not calling it quits. You could also sample Death By Chocolate, a sinful mix of brownies, chocolate ice-cream and almonds topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce (Rs. 120). The traditional kesar kulfi is served here with a difference - - with piping hot fruit sauce (Rs. 50).

As I leave the restaurant, I wonder why Michael Jackson features on the wall. Pat comes the restaurant manager's reply, ``Nothing about him is authentic.'' Sure, even Jackson has been retouched so nothing is real. I leave with a smile and look back at Cu pid at the entrance. You could fall in love with the ambience (received the Diner's Club 1999 Award) and become Bachhus' disciple with gay abandon in these portals devoted to quality cuisine.