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Hard talk

Timeri Murari

I HAVE a friend who is a psychic. The lady has weekly sessions in which she can take you back to the past. This is cheaper than building an expensive time machine to go back to the future. As I needed to do an interview with a character from our past, I sat in on a session.

``Whom do you want an interview this time?,'' the lady asked. She is used to my requests as the last time I had interviewed Cleopatra, who complained bitterly about Dame Elizabeth Taylor playing her in the movie version. She far preferred Shakespeare's v ersion as he had given her better lines.

``Aurangzeb,'' I said. ``Do you think he is still around?'

``Of course, he is. Where else can they go? They are just waiting for some modern media attention.''

My psychic concentrated deeply, the room darkened and out of the smoke (a special effect of her's), we saw Aurangzeb. He was a bit hunched up, gray-bearded and sitting in a very plain tent, somewhere in the Deccan. It was summer and boiling hot.

``How long have you been down in the Deccan, your majesty?'' I asked, to start off the interview on a simple subject.

``Years and years,'' he grumbled. ``Every time I go back to Agra, these wretched princes rebel so I am stuck here like a bullock-cart in the mud.'' He peered behind me. ``No CNN or BBC or STAR-TV?''

``They are not good at interviewing spirits,'' I said. ``So, apart from sitting here and mopping around the Deccan trying to conquer it, have you been able to demolish a few temples and churches?'

``Oh yes,'' he said enthusiastically and brightening up. ``I like to do that whenever I can, just to keep my hand in.''

``And what does the majority and minority community think of that sport?''

``Community?'' his face wrinkled in puzzlement. ``What is this community?''

``Oh it is a new word being used now in India to define various religions. Our politicians and the media mostly use it. They say this `community' did this against that `community'. Then we all have to figure out what and whom they are talking about. They cannot use words such as `Hindu' or `Muslim' or `Christian' or `Hottenntot'. They have been banned.''

``Community!'' he tested the word out. ``I like it. I do not have to use words that should not pass my lips. What can the communities do but stand and watch placidly? After all, I am the Alamgir, Conqueror of the Universe. They are not going to start a f ight with me. So I can raze and pillage as much as I want.''

``But did not some of the community leaders, like our politicians, gherao you or storm the gaddi or declare a bandh on the whole empire in protest? Did they not demand your resignation? Did they not demand a CBI enquiry into the demolitions?''

``Not a peep, not a whisper,'' he chuckled. ``They just went about their business. Of course, I was at the peak of my demolition period a few years ago and most of them will have forgotten such things. What has happened has happened and there is no point in raking up something that has gone to dust. I mean, if they did start a protest now, I would chop their heads off. I always find that is the best solution for troublesome people. Just chop of their heads and they stop talking, it is a wonderful cure f or verbal diarrhoea.''

``What would your reaction be if a mosque was damaged then?''

``I would chop off a head and raze a town or two, naturally.'' He patted my hand placatingly. ``There are lots of temples around so if one or two vanish, what is the difference. But there are not that many mosques around, you understand. I should be buil ding more but I have been so busy with this Deccan problem, I have not had the time. Besides, I do not have my father's talent as an architect. It is all politics of course, to keep me trapped down here. I have not seen the Yamuna for nearly 20 years now .''

``It is polluted, and not worth looking at now, your majesty. If you bathed in it, you would die immediately.'' ``Polluted? What is polluted?''

``That is another modern word. It means despoiling.'' ``Oh that. When we slaughtered people we would throw their bodies in the rivers and, then, we could not drink the water for a few days. It was all our fault, of course, for polluting our own drinking water. But it was great sport tossing dead bodies into rivers. It looks as if nothing has changed since my day. We are still despoiling our drinking water.''

``Not much has changed since your days,'' I said as he began to fade away.

``We still have troublesome princes and ranis. Except we call them politicians nowadays, and they cause as many problems as you have, down in the Deccan.''

He was not a man with much humour, but I could hear him chuckling away as he faded back into the ether.