Excuses, excuses
THEY SAY necessity is the mother of invention. That is just not true. Apprehension is the mother of invention. It sparks the creative fire in so many of us. Take John Marandi, for instance. Prior to graduation, his major extra-curricular activities included hanging out at shopping malls, discussing the fallacies of the latest fashion trends, and debating the validity of certain LBW decisions in India-Pakistan Test matches. His parents were extremely concerned and his teachers went tch, tch every time they saw him walk into class 15 minutes late, wearing socks that didn't match and clothes that didn't quite fit. John was, however, in his own words... `cool' about the whole thing.
But then graduation happened on John like an iron safe falling from the 51st floor of a high-rise. The problem was he hadn't expected it. Having thus been so rudely shoved into the job market against his will, his mind wilted, his feet ossified and his palms dissolved into puddles of perspiration. His alabaster forehead now rippled with unbecoming crenulations. Classic symptoms of galloping apprehension and anxiety syndrome yes, but John was too caught up in his own predicament to understand what was happening to him.
But this is where the creative side of John Marandi was unleashed. His parents forced him to apply for several different positions in different organisations. For convenience, we will call those places a, b, c, d and e. As the strange and unusual case of John Marandi unfolded, we were there to faithfully record the events for posterity.
Here we have highlighted each of his creative masterpieces corresponding with the company to which he applied:
Hostile work environment: John told his parents he had inadvertently walked in on a seething row between two employees. One had successfully managed to bully the other into submission. The incident had disheartened him and his fragile and sensitive constitution could just not take it if he was made to work there. What really happened was this:
Colleague 1 to Colleague 2: Coffee or tea?
Colleague 2: Coffee.
Colleague 1: Tea is better for your health you know. Less caffeine.
Colleague 2: Okay, then.
The Boss: John narrated this horror story after his interview with company (b). He had knocked on the door and asked if he could come in. The boss was a burly man who sat behind a spacious desk and was not of a very cheery disposition. John said his questioning was so intense it felt like he was in a police station with a harsh light on his face with the horror of an impending fist about to connect with his nose at anytime. Further, the Boss had, in a very belligerent voice and with a very suspicious eye, demanded why John wanted to work in his company.
Deadlines: This was John's uncle's company. To his credit, he did work there for two whole weeks before calling it quits. The reason this time was he just couldn't handle deadlines. The very concept numbed him to the bone like 17 shots of Novocain. It saddened him that the rat race had so taken over life, that people couldn't appreciate the little things in life - like the printer that was out of A4 paper and the computer that had hung itself for over five minutes. He remembered a line from the Hicthhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, (one of the very few books he had read): "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Office politics: (d) was the fourth company John walked into. From the moment he walked in, he could smell the vitriolic fumes of petty politicking enshrouding the place. He could just feel the tension in the air. Employees seemingly smiled at each other and all appeared hunky-dory on the surface. But, there were subtle signs that John saw which others missed. For instance, that assistant manager who whispered something into his colleague's ear.
Timings: John's happy-go-lucky disposition did not facilitate punctuality. So, when he worked with company (e) the problem that occurred, and occurred frequently was that he could never make it on time. He was right on time on the first day, walking in at the scheduled 9.00 a.m. The next day, however, his walk-in time slipped to 9.10. The third day it sunk to 9.30 and the fourth day it fell flat on its face to 10.00 a.m. After getting a reprimand, John couldn't bear the torture any longer and quit.
This was the saga of John Marandi as it played out over a period of two years. He ended up jobless and had to finally settle for a mediocre position in a small-scale organisation. Don't get us wrong. John had loads of grey matter stocked up in his cerebellum. But what got him down was, shall we say, his extreme paranoia of work. Every job hunter shares some of John's anxieties. Yes, grouchy bosses and needless office politics can make things tough, especially if you are not used to it. But how will you know unless you try it? The best way, of course, is to research the company's background and find out what their policies are. If possible, ask someone who has worked in the company for a long time what the environment is like. Remember, worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, foresight does.
ARJUN SENGUPTA
arjuns.hyd@cnkonline.com
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Opportunities
