The Colleague Who Was...
HE USED to be your colleague; that ample expanse of back you used to slap goodbye every evening before heading off to home sweet home; that party animal who spent the night in your living room couch after downing one too many mugs of beer. He was your friend, your confidante and your very own shoulder to cry on. No more. That was before the tragedy happened. Before he became your boss.
Now, he is that beefy monster in a pinstriped suit, has a cabin all to himself. That relentless slave-master who infallibly cracks his whip at every chance he gets. He's become too big for the company's financial deficit, and you'd rather jump off a building and impale your left eyelid on a nail than invite him for dinner.
It is a painful situation indeed. As if getting a promotion out of turn wasn't enough, he actually had to accept it too. The nerve! Luckily, you are not the only one. Your friends, at least those who have stayed loyal and are not backbiting vermin like some other people you know, have rallied behind you. They detest his presence with as much vigour as you do; only your angst has that extra tinge of bitterness because it is laced with fond memories of what used to be.
So, what do you do? Or rather what can you do? Not much. After all, he is your boss. And you could sit all day and fantasise about scratching the flank of his car with your house keys but deep in your heart you know that you are too lily-livered to actually do it. Burying the hatchet sounds good only on paper. Anything more than five nanoseconds with him will send your blood pressure to Alpine heights. You would chuck your job, only you don't want to give him the illusion that he has got the better of you. Besides, there is that annoying fact of life - the part where you don't have a large family inheritance to fall back on and have mouths to feed and bills to pay. You feel bound, handcuffed, quartered and would rather spend the rest of your miserable existence selling artichokes, only you are not quite sure what artichokes are, or if they are even available in your vicinity.
Does this sound familiar? No? Well, try it without the artichoke bit then. That was just for effect. At any rate, some of you probably do relate to this, or may in the future. So, this is what you do when that happens:
a. Drop subtle hints: Subtlety is always a virtue. You could end your differences by planting an explosive in the chassis of his Chevrolet, but that sort of thing is generally frowned upon. Sometimes, a little sign speaks many more words than a long drawn-out speech.
b. Chat him up: Do some breathing exercises and meditation before you do. Make sure there aren't any sharp objects or blunt weapons in the immediate neighbourhood. The important thing here is to resolve things. Approach the problem with the intention of finding a solution, and solutions can somehow prove to be extremely elusive if you go in with the sole agenda of wiping that silly smugness off his face.
c. Bring him back into the fold: This is a crucial step. Once he mends his ways, embrace him like the he was the prodigal son who'd just got back after a shopping spree and managed to retain some balance on your platinum card. But, remember, as a boss, he has to maintain some distance, so give him some leeway.
d. Start socialising again: With him. Invite him for dinner and all that like you used to. As tempting as it sounds, jumping off a building and impaling your left eyelid on a nail isn't such a great idea, especially if you don't have medical insurance.
And finally, understand that being a boss to his former colleagues is no cakewalk for him either. Not only does he have to put up with the usual beady-eyed scowls that greet new bosses every morning, he has to face increased resentment from former colleagues who want to scratch the flank of his car with their house keys because they so completely abhor the very sight of him. Add to this the fact that he is answerable to his superiors too, and you can imagine how difficult his position is. Agreed, you can no longer slap him goodbye the way you used to before heading off to home, but you could, with some patience and maturity, develop a working relationship that is built on trust and understanding.
ARJUN SENGUPTA
arjuns.hyd@cnkonline.com
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