Quitters Never Whine
ROUGHLY speaking, an employee's professional life can be broken down into two types of days - good and bad. The more the number of good days he has, the more likely he is to stay. The more the number of bad days he has, the more likely he is to quit. We have talked enough about how companies can ensure low attrition rates by keeping their employees happy, well fed and dreamy-eyed. By now you would think they would have got the message already. Unfortunately, some still haven't. Or choose not to. Whichever be the case, they are bound to have a problem on their hands. That problem is a constant paucity of skilled people and a corresponding shortage of limbs and similarly important appendages to man their machines and do their work.
Now, there is only one civilised, legal and socially acceptable way to get them to stay - by convincing them with speech and verbal arguments. This is often extremely difficult because the average manager either does not possess the required rhetoric strength and willpower for it or his conscience prevents him from telling complete lies. Happily, both cases can be remedied.
We shall start with rectifying the first defect. As a manager in a company where employee ID codes have the lifespan of a moth, you should know three things:
a. Some employees can be convinced to stay
b. Some cannot
c. Some need not
Your first task is to identify the category your employees fall. In category (a), your employee would probably have the traits of Tom. Tom is a conscientious worker. He is not too ambitious, but he has been infected with the must-do-well-in-life bug that his father took care to implant in early adolescence. Consequently, Tom would like to do well in life and see himself in a top position someday. Bear this in mind because you must persuade him to believe that he can do that in the company he is currently working for. Even if he is the plankton at the bottom of the food chain.
Tom is also reasonably competent and would fit in any other organisation just as well. This is crucial knowledge because this is why you must hold on to your coat lapel, display oratory skills unequalled since Cicero, and generally sound impressive. Impressive and concerned. The ideal mix is two parts impressive to one part concerned. The concern must be expressed at Tom's apparent lack of faith in his superiors and in the Almighty if necessary. If you can manage to lace that with a mild but potent sense of betrayal, you have a combination more lethal than napalm. Very few Toms can stand their ground against this weapon.
Finally, Tom is someone who has not really made up his mind and is being a bit of a Hamlet about the whole thing. He wants to be convinced to stay. He has seen bad days but he needs you to tell him that his misery is at an end and salvation is near. In cases of emergency you could even offer him a promotion or a raise and propose to draw him to your bosom and melt his cold heart in the warmth of your embrace. Do not, however, do this if the employee belongs to the opposite gender. On mature reflection, do not do it at all; I have vivid memories of an occasion when things went sadly awry when I attempted this.
With category (b), you would be wasting your time and energy. Since it is only in rare situations that you have ample quantities of both items at once, it would be better if you just let this person go. This is the sort of person who would walk up to you and plonk a resignation letter on your desk without so much as a word, either of praise or complaint. He has either made up his mind that the working conditions are just intolerable or he has found a better job or he has decided that he is the next incarnation of the Dalai Lama. Irrespective of his reason, you'd best shake his hand (or your fist) and let him go his merry way.
In category (c) you'll find the truly pitiable bunch. Despite sporadic but predictable threats of quitting, they don't. There are a number of causes for this: they probably wouldn't get a job anywhere else; or they have family obligations; or they have been stuck in a rut for too long. You can treat them like dirt and get away with it, but we suggest you don't. Apart from violating employee regulations, it is just not nice. So the right thing to do here is to hear them out, give them a shoulder to cry on and promise to do something about it (the shoulder, not their problem).
As the second last paragraph in this article, this segment is obliged to contain some words of insight and erudition. Here they are: sometimes faking is the hardest thing to do. It's not easy to show concern when you don't really feel it. So the best way is to let the employee know what you really think. Be honest if you can remember how, but be diplomatic. You will thank yourself for it later; they might too if all works well. Now, the second defect that needs to be remedied. If you are a top manager in a gigantic corporate organisation and your conscience prevents you from telling complete lies, try incomplete ones. If you find yourself unable to do that too, please do drop us a line, we would like to meet such an enigma.
ARJUN SENGUPTA
arjuns.hyd@cnkonline.com
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