Deal with negative peer pressure proactively
AS ADULTS, we make choices every day. We may make most of our own decisions, but sometimes there are situations where you don't have a clear right or wrong answer. At other times, we may decide against our better judgment and go with what our friends and well-wishers advice. It is, after all, human nature to be wanted and accepted, to be part of group and society. Peer pressure can definitely turn the steam on our attitudes, decisions and mindset, particularly when we are not too sure of ourselves. Many of us give in to peer pressure because we want to be liked, to fit in, or because we are worried that our friends may not like us if we don't go along with the group. The workplace too is no different. You are bound to be influenced both consciously and unconsciously by the personality, attitudes and ethics of colleagues with whom you associate at work.
Peer pressure may not always be a bad influence. You learn from your peers, as they do from you and in such circumstances, peer pressure plays a positive, constructive role. But it could also become a millstone around your neck, especially when it does not go along with your personal ethics, values and lifestyle. It is important to recognise peer pressure for what it is, adapt, and learn to deal with it in a positive manner. Here's how to go about it.
Know the difference between positive and negative peer pressure. Imagine that you are on the last leg of a cross-country race. Your energy and enthusiasm has been completely sapped and you are on the verge of collapse. You almost decide to give up, but friends who have tagged along cheer you up, give you some much needed energy boosters and egg you on to complete the race. Strengthened by their support and encouragement, you decide to give it one last try- and surprise yourself by winning the race. Almost everybody has been in similar situations where the support and encouragement of friends, family and peer group has made the difference between winning and losing, happiness and depression.
This is what positive peer pressure is all about. It is a great motivator and has a beneficial effect on the way you work. It just goes to show that your colleagues are concerned about you. Negative peer pressure can however undermine your confidence and lead you to compromise on your values and principles. Negative peer pressure needs to be dealt with proactively and positively.
Don't allow your principles to be compromised. Set standards for yourself. Be confident about who you are and what your values mean to you. If your friends and peers are trying to brow-beat you into doing or saying something that goes against what you feel is right, then stand up for yourself. Reinforce your stand by politely telling your peers that you will not do something that goes against the principles you believe in. Be prepared for possible negative consequences of going against the peer pressure. Your peers may discourage you or pass negative comments and snide remarks. You could even possibly face complete isolation- but it is important not to give in. Learn to say `no' firmly, and walk away. Otherwise you may allow yourself to be talked into doing something you will regret later. Playing tough helps one face challenges and make the right, even if unpleasant decisions.
Making your own decisions is tough as it is, but when other people get involved it only adds to your confusion and frustration. It is always a good thing to listen to what your friends and co-workers have to say, but draw the line at that, and exercise common sense and judgment while making your decisions.
BINDU SRIDHAR
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