What went wrong?

This is an extract from a forthcoming book by UMA NAIR that deals with errant adolescents. Here is outlined the lives of two difficult youngsters in the Capital.

IF the early 80s was pronounced by the supply side passions of want, the 90s have given way to passions of demand. Specially ignited by a new set of rules and ethics are the new kids on the block - they come from good, stable marriages and caring parents, and yet something, somewhere cracks - each family has its own optimum in terms of functioning, but somewhere a selfish instability creeps in and chaos reigns.

The capital city of Delhi is virtually like a canvas - one that mirrors emotions, euphoria and teenage nightmares of errant adolescents who believe they are above the law. Schools grapple with cases, psychiatrists make good money but the human in the adolescent is often lost. Meet Issac John (name has been changed to protect privacy) - he attended one of the oldest Christian institutions in the city, his parents wanted him to grow up to be a good man who could get on well in life. Till class 8 he was just like any other kid - as a performer he was never among the higher rank holders but neither was he at the bottom. Let's say he scored between 50-55 per cent in class. Even as a child he loved cars - he loved the feel of the wheel and often his father John Koshy would let him handle the wheel with a characteristic laugh. While mother Gracy often resisted, the father and son enjoyed the small flirtation with the wheel. By the time Issac came to Class 9 he could drive the car - he could drive anything.

Since he was putting on weight eating junk food and drinking sodas, it was decided that he should play tennis to knock off the puppy fat. Tennis timings were 4 - 6 p.m. Somehow the 6 p.m. became 8 p.m. and he built up a friendship with three dropouts. All the boys shared a love for motorcycles, cars and rallies. The hours were spent discussing the ins and outs of mechanics and they soon went for motorcycle rallies. Since class 9 was a rigorous schedule, Issac was unable to keep up and he failed in class.

Issac's father who was about 20 years older than his mother was unable to handle the setback and gave into severe arthritis. While he often blamed his wife Gracy, he never remembered that it was he who gave permission for his son to conduct his alliances and activities and it was he who gave him money to spend lavishly. All the cooking that Grace did was only for the couple - the son always ate out. But failing in any class can be a traumatic experience for any child - as humans none of us like failure - we do not want to face it, we only cringe from it - and we fear the world more than we fear the failure. In schools the world over, the failure lives for a certain period with a stigma, a certain branding that cannot be wiped away. And Issac became a part of that stigma - while at school he became the cornerstone in a classroom, outside his home and school he was an 'auto hero'. Somehow he scraped through to class 10, and it was during this time that he acquired a new friend who was a young lawyer. This man only believed in dealing with parents who wanted to take schools to court - he was the son of a police officer and he had the clout and the connections - after taking schools to court and getting them to revoke failure cases he would be written about in newspapers amidst much fanfare as the saviour who pulled out the underdog. Issac's friendship with this lawyer changed him into an arrogant and stubborn boy - his timings changed - tennis was over and he would leave the house at 8'o clock in the evening and come back in the wee hours of the night. One day he asked his father for Rs. 30,000 to buy a motorcycle. When he resisted, he broke the furniture in the house, threw crockery at the wall and pulled out the wires of the phone. The next morning he was given the money and a brand new motorcycle was kept in the garage. Once the lines were restored, someone called John and told him that his son is seen at night in a police patrol van with three other older boys and a young man. The young man was the lawyer - his influence on Issac was uncanny - he was almost God to the young lad.

The Boards were approaching - they were only a week away -- when John got a call from his son's school. Mr. John Koshy, would you please come and meet me tomorrow? said the Principal. When Issac came home he told his parents that he had taken his lawyer friend to the school, and threatened to take the Principal to court if he did not give him his admit card. The Principal made John sign an undertaking stating that he would remove Issac from the school once the results were declared. Issac was unfazed while John was living through the anguish of humiliation and dejection. John had had a brilliant academic record and the present day generation was just beyond him.

The lawyer friend got Issac admitted provisionally to another school - he obviously had contacts. But Issac's parents became silent spectators in an unimaginable human drama of terror and intense fear. For John and Gracy, their adolescent son had become a stranger - and who does one talk to? How do you seek help for your own son who is ready to demolish your home within seconds? According to John, the school is to blame because they did nothing for the son - Gracy knows that her husband gave his son too long a rope but she is too scared to admit it. Issac's latest demand is a Tata Sumo - the Fiat is too old-fashioned. If there is no money, take a loan!

The lawyer friend has become Issac's guide to the future - there is uneasy hypnosis in this relationship and it can neither be penetrated nor broken. As Issac's parents live with the grey voices of anguish and torment - there is a larger perspective to be looked at. John has been too autocratic with his wife - the experience of nurturing and rearing has not been shared - it has been an experience of overrule. Gracy has been a passive recipient whose role was to say yes, keep the house in order and cook tasty food, Kerala style. She has lived 17 years of her married life pandering to male whims. She has been marginalised in her own marriage, in her home and in her own space. Her economic dependence on her husband has made her incapacitated. This is a case of gender differentials - her saddest refrain is that the world will blame her! The CBSE results are out and Issac has failed.

Another promising student was Shashank Sharma (name has been changed) whose parents were both doctors. His mother Ratna gave up her practice to devote all her time to him. For the first eight years of his schooling he was always on top, when he came to Class 9, he started sliding. In class 10, he said he wanted to be a doctor but he could not do Maths. He left one school to join another. There was only one difference - the new school has girls too! From a meek and timid boy he became the most talked about because he got into brawls over girls.

His father, a neurosurgeon, was called to school nearly every alternate day, and Shashank failed Class 11. He went to school for drop outs and got into a drug racket. He has changed his mind about medicine, he wants to go abroad and do computers - for which he needs Maths. So he will do class 12 again next year.

In the meantime, his jaunts begin after 9 p.m. at night - he has loads of money and carries conversations under whispers through a private cell phone. I have lost my son, says Ratna who has blood pressure, and has turned asthmatic. I fear he is selling drugs - he has too much money. He is averse to meeting anyone. He has a new circle of friends.

Issac and Shashank are only two examples among many. They leave us with a picture of gloom and utter despair. They also leave us with a new definition to freedom and the strength of relationships. They can either make or mar our lives - they can also graph the growth and development of individuals in the millennium. More importantly the lives of adolescents are fragile and human relationships extremely tenuous.

Are we too late?

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