Returns matter

BIRTHDAY PARTIES for children are a different scene these days with the event being handed over to contractors or event managers. They handle the entire event - from decorations to menu to party favours... it comes in a neat package. The package becomes more neat when it is a 'theme' party. So everything revolves around a single concept, like a dalmation or a batman party.

The colourful streamers, balloons, girls in pretty party frocks, variety of cakes... there's everything in abundance. But most of the children do not even bother to look at the cake, leave alone being present for the cake cutting ceremony. That's because, they are preoccupied with just one thought - the 'return gift.'

There is no excitement in giving the birthday child the gift or wishing the child, as the return gift syndrome preoccupies the child so much that, most often, it is the driver who hands over the gift sheepishly to somebody, who then passes it on or leaves it on the table unceremoniously.

For those who are not party hopping, 'entertainment' would be theme movies, theme games, or sometimes a magic show. The 'eating phase' means mastering the act of balancing those silver coated paper plates and wobbly Rasna throw away cups, with a little bit of mess expected. The children by now are subdued and more or less awaiting the magic word - the 'return gift'. The only time the host (the child actually) seems to get any attention is when the secret of the contents in the 'Most Wanted' bag is let out. By then, the other children become familiar with the "aunty" - one who makes things happen, whether it is playing games, chatting or uttering the magic word 'return gifts'.

The birthday child, at this point, is nagging his/her mother, in low monotones for the return gift package, which was the deal struck while planning this entire excercise. It is precisely at that moment that the mother tries to rustle up some instant 'return gifts' for some guests who have not received it, and so the birthday child has to forego the 'return gift'.

The sullen child wanders into the main room, only to find all the noise suddenly died down, for, everybody has left. Save the aunty who tries to pacify the child with the gifts that have come in. But who is bothered about these boring rectangular packages? 'I did not get my return gift...' is the chant. Woe begone, the child goes to the table to get a glimpse of her favourite cake, which by now is either headless or limbless, save the Happy Birthday portion which remains intact.

And as if to get back into the birthday mood, Sharon Prabhakar's "Happy Birthday" is now audible thanks to the sullen silence...

Oh no! the birthday party is not over. The phone rings and the caller is a five-year-old asking for the real aunty. "Aunty, in my return gift you forgot to put xyz items which Varun has got" or "Aunty, I left mine near the shoe stand I think, I will send my driver now." One aunty looks at the other for answers, but she gets a query instead, "What shall we give as return gifts next year?"

KRISHNA IYER

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