DO NOT ever be afraid to ask people for help. The love and support that people want to give you when you are diagnosed with cancer can absolutely get you through this experience on a day-by-day basis. Enclosed here find suggestions on how family and friends can pitch in and do something meaningful and worthwhile for you.

Complete with instructions to the cancer patient on how to accept the offers of assistance, these helpful hints are the "Martha Stewart" of cancer care for friends, family and caregivers worldwide. Simply hand-out these suggestions when the voice on the other end of the phone say, "What can I do to help?"

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None of us have any control over the timing of a diagnosis of cancer. As they say, "Cancer has its own calendar". If a friend or family member is given a diagnosis or has to go through surgery, treatment or hospitalisation on or around a "Special" day, plan to do something for them anyway to acknowledge the occasion despite their protests to the contrary. It will help take their mind off their situation, if even for only an hour or two. It will help them recognise that life must go on, and in the long run, they will probably feel better just knowing you cared enough to remember.

To cancer patients:

If you are going to the hospital, having a treatment, or just dealing with cancer on a special occasion, bring a little something to hand out to family, friends, physicians and caregivers to demonstrate your positive attitude. Bring bowlers for New Year's or candy hearts for Valentine's Day, chocolates for Easter or balloons on your birthday. You can prove to everyone that you may be down, but you are not out!

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Anonymous

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One of the "danger zones" for people with a diagnosis of cancer is when they tell you they do not want to see people or do not want to go out. Perhaps they do not feel well, or they are uncomfortable with their personal appearance. Make some special arrangements to take them out for an afternoon of lunch and a special activity: perhaps a funny movie matinee, or a walk in the park. Call ahead to the restaurant and request a private or secluded table where the two of you can talk. Make arrangements for some freshly cut flowers to be on the table or a cake to be delivered to celebrate the day. The cancer patient will forget their troubles for an afternoon and will be grateful that you still enjoy their company.

To cancer patients:

If a friend or loved one offers to take you out for lunch or a special activity, take them up on their offer. It will take your mind off your treatments and current condition, and besides - it is lots of fun. You will be glad you went.

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We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.

George Bernard Shaw

A common reaction when you hear a friend or loved one has cancer is to volunteer to put the patient in touch with another friend or family member you know who has also faced the disease. While this can be comforting and supportive to talk to other people who have "been there; done that"; it can also be overwhelming to being receiving calls from complete strangers.

Call the cancer patient first and offer to put them in touch with your other acquaintance. Then be sure to ask when a convenient time would be to call, and whether the patient would prefer to place the call themselves at their convenience or receive the call from your friend. Eventually the two will probably enjoy sharing their stories, but it is important that the timing be appropriate.

To cancer patients:

Be assertive if you do not want to speak to strangers about your situation. Tell your friend or family member that you appreciate their concern and efforts to put you in touch with someone they know. Then let your friend know if you would, indeed, find comfort in speaking to someone else who has faced a diagnosis of cancer. You may make a new friend in the process.

Humour is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Max Eastman

In supporting a loved one or friend going through a cancer experience, do not forget to laugh.

Christine K. Clifford is the Founder,CEO,president of The Cancer Club. Visit her at www.cancerclub.com.