Musharraf 'lonely at the top'

DUBAI, MAY 4. Describing himself as ``lonely'' at the top, Pakistan's Chief Executive, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, has said he might have lied ``here and there'' as it was all right to lie occasionally in the national interest.

In an interview to the Khaleej Times in which he talked about his personal life, Gen. Musharraf first said he did not think he could tell a lie but contradicted himself later saying he might have lied in the interest of the country.

``I don't think I can tell a lie. I don't think diplomacy, which here means distortion of facts, comes naturally to me. Certainly that is not what I understand of diplomacy... In my book it means putting things politely and palatably. It does not mean telling lies, covering up and distorting.

``But of course in national interest, sometimes we have to tell a lie and may be I have told lies here and there but it must have been apparent from my face,'' the General said.

It was lonely at the top. ``The higher you go the lonelier you become. Sometimes it is too scary, that this is such a big thing and there is nobody you can share it with. And you have to take decisions and they are very big decisions with extremely far- reaching consequences,'' he said.

`Expanding midriff'

In the frank and candid interview, the military ruler talked about various facets of his life, including his love for the Army, his philosophy of courage, his family and his concern for his expanding midriff. The business of running the country did not provide him the luxury of indulging in much physical activity. ``Before the coup, I was regular on physical activity and socialising.'' He played golf, badminton and squash but the coup changed all that.

Gen. Musharraf, known for playing his cards close to his chest, said he was not very secretive earlier. ``I think I was not very secretive before 1993 when I became Director- General, military operations. I learnt to be discreet, absorb and keep quiet.''

He had always been natural in life. ``I think my natural self is the best. I am comfortable with myself. I am being absolutely normal and natural.'' His staff was often in a quandary. ``My security staff gets quite flustered. I don't feel like a head of State. I actually forget being at the helm of affairs. I chat even with my peon,'' he said.

The General had never been an avid reader. ``But in the Army, I started reading military books. I enjoyed reading about strategies and famous campaigns, though I still wouldn't call myself an expert on the issue.''

He often told his forces that there was a very thin line dividing courage and cowardice. ``When you are faced with a situation where your life is in danger, it is the first few seconds or maybe half-a-minute that divides courage from cowardice... The first natural urge is self-protection but if you curb that natural urge during that half-minute, you will come up with a very balanced response to what is happening and you can shift to being courageous.''

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Section  : International
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