Gift a thought

IT IS quite reasonable to expect a bride's family to worry about the selection of the bridegroom and once that is done, finding the wedding hall, cook, menu and making all the other arrangements. But for the invitees, the most arduous task is the selection of the right gift for the couple. It goes in inverse proportion - that is to say, the closer you are to the family, the farther away from quick decision-making. Nothing appears good enough!

Even for the host, the need arises to manage the sackful of gifts. You must see them to believe them - gifts of all sizes, shapes and colours, wrapped in different kinds of paper... gold, silver, polished, crepe and brown. They are round, elongated, oblong, rectangular, light, heavy, small and big, named or labelled.

But, as a general rule, the size of a gift is in inverse proportion to the value of the object found within. There are those who believe in giving cash and those who wish to give (or more often than not shall I say dump) some articles. The latter lot don't seem to know that the things that really matter are not these items. The other type are the really genuine lot, who are interested in the art of gift selection and hence, are adept at it. The irony is that those who part with a handsome four figure amount sometimes fail to sign their names whereas those who dole out a ten-rupee note or a meagre multiple of it, sure enough sign ten times all over the envelope (till finally it can be sarcastically said that all that was left of the gift was the cover!)

Some business-minded people deem these interest-free loans (or interest less!) and hence, not wanting to be a borrower or lender, print either "Avoid presents", "Presents in blessings only" or "Only your presence and not presents." People who give gifts (as far as affection and costs go) sometimes hand it over at home to prevent it from getting lost or finding its way into the mother-in-law's chambers!

Flowers are a refreshing, fragrant way of wishing people. Nothing like saying it with flowers that let your life be as colourful and your love remain as fresh and pure as on your wedding day.

As for those who present things - the more popular items are the brassware minus the shine, the wall hangings without the hook, the statuettes bereft of arms, table lamps with holders absent, casseroles of all colours, and sizes, bowls to accommodate fruits of all shapes, thermos flasks large enough to hold a cup of coffee in each for all the people of the highway you live on and last but not the least, time pieces.

Some gifts are only to be seen to be wrapped again and passed on at the very next wedding that is attended. In this connection, have you heard of the boomerang theory? "The gift that you, having received from others, give to yet others, returns to you in half the time taken to reach them but in a doubly rotten condition." I stand testimony to this when I write that I got the very same casserole back for my daughter's wedding as I was able to identify the tell-tale birth mark on it as it were!

Finally, there are the real sincere ones who think up and derive great pleasure in selecting lovely cards with lovelier wordings on the inside, who pick up cute little remembrances that you will safe keep through life or use in your new home - a plaque on friendship or a "God bless your home" or a lovely Tanjore painting but something that has time, trouble, sincerity and affection wrapped up in it.

The art of selecting and presenting a gift provides as much joy to the giver as to the receiver. Hence, learn never to look a gift horse in the mouth. In simple words, what is important is that the heart of the giver matters and not the gift at all!

THARA MOHAN RAO

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