At home, away from home

Elderly people are often lonely and neglected. REBECCA CHANDY looks at a unique day-care centre for this section of society in Thiruvananthapuram.

IN the mid-1990s in Thiruvananthapuram, Rev. Samuel Varghese went to call on his friend's old father. His friend was a successful doctor in the United Kingdom. The Reverend found the old gentleman alone in a big house in the care of a "no-nonsense" nurse. Seeing the priest, he attempted to sit up but the nurse would not allow him to do so. This provoked the Reverend to help the old man to a sitting position. To his horror, he saw the old man's back was covered with bed-sores! When he reached home, he called his friend who replied that he sent money regularly and engaged a nurse to look after his father. There was nothing more he could do as he was busy. The old gentleman died a few days later.

Father Samuel Varghese was outraged, so he resolved to do something for senior citizens who were being neglected by their children. He enlisted the help of his friends and inspired them with his vision of a day home - Pakal Veedu in Malayalam - for old people. It would be a day-care centre offering them the companionship of people of similar age and needs, wholesome food, facilities for medical check-up and physiotherapy, along with activities for mental alertness and spiritual growth. As a result of his persistent efforts, a group of eminent men from various walks of life came together to form "Caring India" (a unique day- care centre for senior citizens). On April 8, 1996, it was inaugurated as a registered charitable society catering to the aged, irrespective of religion, caste or ethnic background.

The venue was a rented house, pleasant and inviting, with its ornamental shrubs and palm trees. A van to pick up the people from their homes in the morning and to take them back in the evening was the first investment. The staff consisted of an administrator, an activities director, a social worker, a cook, a nurse and a driver. Attracted by this novel centre, senior citizens of Thiruvananthapuram began to join - a trickle at first which soon swelled to around 70 people a day.

A typical begins at 9 a.m. when the member hears the driver, Paulose, honking outside his/her home. Roy, the agile and cheerful conductor, gently assists each senior citizen into the van. He has his own names for each one - Avittom Road Ammachy (Ammachy means mother), Ammachy from the flats, Alapuzha Ammachy, Walker Ammachy (who stays next door and walks to the centre), Dr. Appachan (Appachan means father), Kollam Appachan. The old people set off with a sense of joi de vivre reminiscent of picnics in their bygone school days.

By the time they arrive, Leela, the cook-cum-help, is waiting with tea and snacks. She is not only a wizard cook but also a woman with a heart. It is amazing how she manages to prepare delicious lunches for so many people on time, but she does it and thereby proves that providing tasty food is, above all, an affirmation of love.

The activities director meets them and spends time discussing current events and news. Everyone loves the singing of hymns which follows because the beautiful words assure them of God's love and concern. Well-known speakers then give them messages which are practical, inspiring and comforting.

Lunch is eaten amidst much banter and bonhomie. If the day marks someone's birthday or any other event, a cake is cut to the accompaniment of songs and greetings. Now comes the most interesting part of the day. Some go for games such as quizzes, singing or other competitions; some for medical check-up and physiotherapy; a few prefer a short siesta and the rest settle down to socialising.

The friendships thus formed makes the Pakal Veedu community a happy one because the old people find ready ears to listen to their woes and generous hearts to rejoice in their joys. They forget their loneliness and longing for the company of their children and grandchildren.

After tea at 4 p.m., the inseparable pair, Paulose and Roy, shepherd them to the houses where they live alone or with their children.

Eighty-six-year-old Thankamma George writes: "I feel like a child at times getting ready to go out in the morning. Our children are busy leading their own lives and we naturally feel out of place. This day-care centre is the best thing that has happened to me.

The uniqueness of Pakal Veedu as compared with the usual run of old age homes in the country is that it addresses the problem of the loneliness of old people without severing their links with their families. Besides, they can choose the number of days they wish to go there as they need to pay a nominal fee for the days they attend.

Pakal Veedu was a venture in faith as it started on a shoe-string budget of Rs. 2,000. It still is. The expenditure on each beneficiary is double what he pays but the deficit is made good by donations from a generous public - a public which believes that a society which looks after its old members is a society after God's own heart.

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