Home alone

Call them the 'bindaas' band or the 'me' generation, today's youngsters do not want to compromise on freedom and prefer living alone. T. KRITHIKA REDDY talks to some of them.

THE AIR is filled with the noisy hubbub of a typical workday morning. It's another berserk hour of trying to dress while cooking. Amidst the delightful clutter of the compact apartment, Bon Jovi's ``It's My Life, It's My Life...'' blares from the sleek music system, hitting hard the essence of Arvind T.Swamy's attitude to life.

The Pentium on the table, reams of paper and office paraphernalia are reflective of the unabashed workaholic. But that Arvind works hard and plays even harder is evident in his swank recreation corner. At 20- something, life's really come up roses, nay orchids. And he's one of those celebrating youth with savvy, style... and, in solitary splendour.

Like many other successful youngsters, Arvind too is maxing out those ``me'' years. So instead of sharing accommodation with a friend or moving to hostels, he has chosen to live alone. And going solo means having his ``space''.

Space? ``Yes, success to me is synonymous with autonomy - at all levels. I need my space, be it at home or the workplace'', says the computer professional on the go. Arvind's demand for ``space'' might sound like a contemporary cliche. But the fact remains that more and more youngsters who have migrated to the city fuelled by dreams of lucrative jobs or academic excellence prefer staying alone. Catch up on some of these domestic loners (can they be called that?) and what instantly strikes you is their personality — a spirited cocktail of grit, confidence and independence. And the reactions range from ``I like being myself, living the way I want'' to ``We make the most of our freedom — but are cautious about transgressing the limits''.

For 27-year old B. Vinodh, a businessman in T. Nagar, ``relationships too have become very business-like. Where do we have time even for exchanging pleasantries? For youngsters with a free spirit, company on the home front might only lead to difference of opinion''.

Pragmatic to a T, Asharita Badri, journalist, says matter-of- factly as she settles down for a chat, ``living alone has its own advantages and disadvantages.'' After a pause, she adds with a 100-watt smile, `` Ok, I can live life at my own pace. But then, I have to attend to everything on my own...from bank visits to tackling roaches''. Nevertheless, ``with independence comes a deep sense of responsibility, often cloaked in self- confidence. Total freedom can be very gratifying'', she says reeling off some of her experiences — ``grand buffets, frugal meals, late nights, later mornings, talkathon on the phone to watching TV uninterrupted for hours on end''.

But has the feeling of loneliness ever sullied her spirit? ``Well, with my parents staying only an overnight away and hospitable friends around, I am yet to experience seclusion.'' Chipping in, her friend Vivek Krishnan, who maintains a well- furnished home at Mylapore, all by himself, says, ``Being someone who loves company, it was difficult for me initially, particularly during sickness. Whenever I felt I needed someone around, I would drive down to meet friends or call them over for dinner''. Though Vivek did consider sharing accommodation on ``grounds of financial savings'', he opted out ``for want of a decent place to live in. Most bachelor accommo-dation/hostels are dingy, cramped spaces.''

Having a taste for furnishing and house upkeep, Vivek has painstakingly worked on his interior. Gushing over the compliments he receives, he says, ``I am a stickler for cleanliness. I hate it if things are strewn around''.

Revelling in freedom is yet another youngster, Savithri, who has taken up an independent accommodation near Greenways Road. ``My job with a daily demands working at unearthly hours. Sharing spaces will not suit my rhythm. With my parents away in the North, I don't want to be answerable to anyone,'' she says. ``All the same, I don't take advantage of my freedom. Independence to me means making the right choices''.

Freedom unlimited is fun. But will it backfire once they give marriage a nod? ``Indeed'' agree the young women, who are so wary of marital commitments. ``It has to do with the mindset. Even decades after the woman broke gender boundaries, she is still primarily seen as a homemaker. So for someone like me, who has enjoyed absolute freedom...oh! I can't even think of marriage'', says V. Madhumathi, who has been deliberately prolonging singlehood. Madhumathi, a lecturer, who moved to the city three years ago, was initially staying in a working women's hostel. She has now moved to a single bedroom apartment ``for want of privacy and better food.''

Somewhere in their hearts, the men too feel that they might hanker for those freewheeling bachelor days once marriage happened. ``But anyway, I think it depends on mutual understanding and the compromises you have to make'', says Arvind.

When it comes to the issue of security, some of the women living alone did feel ``slightly vulnerable'', while others felt it hardly mattered since they are put up in decent residential localities. Deesha, a student of Economics in a city college, who lived alone intermittently, says, ``I've never thought about security, since I stayed in an apartment with friendly neighbours. I had a busy schedule — amidst college work and domestic chores, there was hardly any time to even think about loneliness or security.''

As far as the monetary viability of staying independently is concerned, these well-placed youngsters have hardly felt the pinch. ``Staying in hostels might work out cheap. But what about the comforts? The freedom?'' asks an uppity Deesha.

``Even if it means spending what one earns, I'd prefer to go solo. Whether it is a one-member household or a big family, daily expenses are there. But living alone is a good experience. It prepares me for the life ahead — be it housekeeping or cooking'', says Asharitha.

Vivek, who enjoys cooking says, ``The only hitch is that it depends on my moods. And the interest lasts only till I prepare the meal. I sometimes wish a genie could come and do the dishwashing''.

Call them the `bindaas' band or the ``me'' generation. But after about a decade of academic diligence, today's youngster does not wish to compromise on comfort or freedom. ``Why should we, we work our way up. Moreover, living alone does not mean throwing values to the winds'', is their spirited refrain. True. Despite the gravitational pull of Western culture, they have been able to absorb the best from both worlds.

So here they are spending prime time in solitary sweetness. At work, they are making smart moves to fast-forward their careers. But back home, the feisty lot slip into a de-stress regime with music, television, kitchen chores and fun unlimited. ``Ok, there is this stigma about youngsters living alone. But, come on, what's so dubious about it? All we have is clean, manageable fun'', they echo.

And yes... they look hurried, but certainly happy!

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