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Marriage made easy
THERE IS a saying in Tamil, "Thai pirandal vazhi pirakum". With the ushering in of Thai during Pongal, it's the beginning of a long wedding season, which lasts for four months.
The city's marriage halls are booked much in advance. It is usually said that only after finalising the marriage hall that the bride and groom are selected.
A few months back, my cousin called up from Mumbai to say that her daughter's wedding would take place in Chennai. My initial fear was I would be told to hunt for a marriage hall, cook etc. But after a week, the cousin called up again to say all that had been arranged. I wondered how!
Just call up one of the marriage contractors or agencies in Matunga (in Mumbai) and they fix everything in accordance with their client's requirements in Chennai, including the bridal make-up and Tamil invitation cards. I realised how easy arrangements for marriages have become today.
There was a time when the bride's family would be under immense pressure months before the wedding. I remember my Mumbai cousin's marriage 25 years ago in Madras. The groom being well qualified, his family was ready with their list of demands even before the engagement ceremony.
My uncle accepted all the demands because he liked the boy. The hall that was fixed was huge and costly. The boy's family came a day before the wedding. Cars were sent to the railway station, airport and bus stand to pick them up. Only the most experienced members of our family were put on the reception committee. Despite all the efforts, some of the guests were sore about the arrangements. Finally when the boy's parents arrived, my uncle, aunt and all elderly members of the family rushed to receive them. As the groom's mother walked up the stairs, the bride's parents followed. Later my uncle and aunt came down looking worried and whispered something into Mani mama's ears. The problem was nothing serious, only that the groom's mother was upset that all the guests were not received with garlands.
But Mani mama had a flair for solving such problems. Then the reception committee members were sent up to call the sambandhis for a typical janavasam tiffin — wheat halwa, potato bonda and kitchadi. As the guests entered the hall, they were welcomed with a garland and a rose bud. But for the next two days it was blow hot, blow cold with the boy's family members throwing tantrums. The groom's mother threatened to leave bag and baggage every time the wishes of the guests were not fulfilled. Mani mama would be summoned immediately.
Well, the battle continued and mellowed only after the muhurtham. By that time the girl's parents felt confident seeing the newlyweds talking freely to each other, oblivious of the crowd around. By evening, the situation had cooled down. Next morning, the scene became quite emotional when the groom's family apologised for their behaviour. For the next few days, this wedding was the talk of the family.
And now the same cousin's daughter's wedding was held recently in Chennai and I saw how things had changed over the years. There were just ten people from the boy's family and a handful from the girl's side. The contractor who made all the arrangements received both families with garlands. Even the bride's family looked like guests, relaxing and chatting while the contractor took care of all the arrangements. No grumbling and no complaints as the arrangements were perfect. It was like one big party for both the families.
GEETHA RAJAGOPAL
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