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Marriage... and after
Goutam Ghosh
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People from varied walks of life shared their views at a recent panel discussion on the survival of the institution of marriage in the next millennium. A report.
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IF YOU believe that courtship and marriage are no big deal, you should have been present at the panel discussion that preceded the launch of Dr. Vijay Nagaswami's book, ``Courtship & Marriage: A Guide for Indian Couples''.
Dr. Nagaswami said in his introduction to the group of panellists that ``Marriage is a subject all of us are experts in,'' and threw open the topic ``Will The Institution of Marriage Survive the Next Millennium'' for discussion.
The debate that followed after all the panellists had shared their views showed the questionable confidence each one of us seems to have as far as understanding this institution is concerned. The confidence that seems to be bolstered by our intuitive ``gut feeling'' about what we should do or shouldn't. Most of us tend to believe our gut feeling, which at times leads the hapless among us, astray from the path of understanding and reconciliation. Thereby ruining a marriage.
The panel, with one bachelor (Chetan Shah) and one spinster (Visalam Ekambaram), had others (P.C. Ramakrishna, Rajiv Menon, Suhasini Manirathnam, and Latha Menon) who believe in marriage. Despite the number game, Chetan Shah virtually stole the show with his witty and sometimes bristly (wouldn't be surprised if some among the audience thought they were beastly) remarks on the confusions of remaining married. The repartees were relatively weak, but what mattered was the abiding faith of all, including the floor, in the institution of marriage.
Dr. Nagaswami's role as a mediator was to punctuate the proceedings with a ``That's a very valid point'' from time to time. The observations made, the questions raised, the issues debated all converged on the focal point — that the institution of marriage will survive the third millennium.
The role of Dr. Nagaswami as a writer of this excellent book would not seem to gel with his role as a moderator. He was earlier a psychiatrist with the Schizophrenia Research Foundation (SCARF), then vice-president (human resource), Alacrity Foundation and finally marriage counsellor.
All psychiatrists have exposure after they begin to practise what they learn. But not everyone can put his or her thoughts as lucidly as Dr. Nagaswami has in his 250-page book, which he dedicated to his wife, Usha.
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