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Till death do us part...
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Each individual reacts to the same situation in a different manner. And if the situation is life threatening, then...
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DEATH... THE word scares everybody. A king or a beggar, nobody escapes death. Being born in a certain family is accidental. But wherever you are born, you are sure to die. Our ancestors understood this and laid down some rules. They divided life into four parts of which vanaprastha ashrama and sanyasa are very important.
Sumitra and Suresh were my classmates. While Sumitra was bright and sharp and was always a topper, Suresh was not as bright. But he was a very nice person. They fell in love and got married. Suresh ran a successful business and Sumitra lent a helping hand.
Even though they were well off, Sumitra would never spend money unnecessarily. I used to meet them once in a while at their place. We would sit in their spacious lawn, reliving our golden days.
The couple looked happy and were made for each other, or so it seemed. But there were traces of sadness, as they did not have children. Both had decided not to adopt a child, for reasons best known to them.
One day, I got a call from Sumitra, who politely asked me, "Can you come home for dinner?" I thought that it was one of those usual dinners. But when I entered their house, there was tension in the air. Both of them were looking tired and worried. As soon as Sumitra saw me, she broke down. "Today I went for a medical check-up. My doctor says there is a problem with my kidney. I am really worried."
I could easily understand their worries, because only the previous year, Suresh suffered a heart attack. They were entirely dependent on each other. But suddenly, they did not know how long they would survive.
In life, nothing can be equated with health. Good health is the greatest asset. Money can buy medicines and comfort, but not happiness. They wanted me to listen to their problems and I did it wholeheartedly.
Suresh was much more practical. "We must think of spending money in our remaining years. I feel we should write our will. There should not be any problem among the relatives later. None of our relatives has helped us during difficult times. So, I do not want to give them anything."
But Sumitra had a different opinion. It was the first time I saw Sumitra oppose her husband. They had heated arguments. I did not interfere as it was their personal matter and involved their money. How can an outsider like me get involved? So I decided to leave, when Sumitra said, "We called you here to give us suggestions. Don't consider yourself an outsider." So, I had to listen to their arguments.
"I have never spent money on myself. I do not know how long I will live. So let me enjoy life the way I want." This was Sumitra's argument. No conclusion was drawn that day.
Days passed. I could see the couple drifting apart. I used to see more of Sumitra than Suresh. There was a tremendous change in her. She started wearing clothes that did not suit her age. Once, while returning from Mumbai, I met her at the airport and could not believe my eyes. Was it the same Sumitra who once had long hair and dressed in a cotton sari? Here she was wearing Western clothes, dripping with diamonds, with heavy make-up and drenched in perfume. She told me, "I was in Mumbai for a horse race. I had never seen a horse race before. Now, I am off to Chennai to attend the wedding of a film producer's daughter. Of late, I have started financing movies. It's a great field. I spent my life without enjoying many things. Now, I am busier than ever."
"How is Suresh?" She was very unhappy to answer my question. "As usual, absorbed in his business."
Now I realised that both of them were leading separate lives. Suresh used to call me once in a while to talk about certain educational institutions. One day, Suresh's lawyer called me up. "Suresh has made his will and wants you to be the executor. Is it acceptable to you?" I was surprised by Suresh's decision. I was neither his relative nor business associate. I wanted to meet Suresh.
Handling somebody else's money is a very big responsibility. You can afford to lose your money but if you are a `trustee', then your responsibilities are thousand times more. Trust is a rare quality to find.
I met Suresh at his home. Sumitra was away in Delhi. He was alone, cheerfully talking to his lawyer.
When I read the will, I was surprised. Donations had been made to educational institutions, scholarships and libraries. But, nowhere did he want his name mentioned. Everything was in Sumitra's name. "Yes. We may have different ideas. But without her help, I could not have built the business."
"Is Sumitra aware of the will?" "No. Please don't tell her."
A week later, I learnt that Sumitra was seriously ill. By the time I reached the hospital, she was no more. I soon learnt her bank balance was nil.
Suresh took his wife's death in the right spirit. But I could understand how hard it must have been for him to live without her. After a year, Suresh's lawyer called me up to inform me that he had passed away in his sleep.
Thus, the lives of two good friends ended within a span of one year. Whenever I think of the Sumitra Memorial prize, I wonder how strange life is.
Both my friends knew that they would die. But they chose different paths. Though brighter, Sumitra did not understand life the way Suresh did.
She opted for `enjoyment', whereas Suresh opted for philanthropic deeds. Is it not strange that the same situation led to different reactions from two different individuals?
(The author is Chairperson, Infosys Foundation. This is the third of a five-part series)
SUDHA MURTHY
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