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Monsoon muddle
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Monsoon has a strange way of strengthening the survival instinct. For the uninitiated, S. UPENDRAN has a few suggestions to get through the season, successfully.
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MANHOLE MAP: The monsoon transforms many parts of the city into lakes. - Photo: Mohd Yousuf
AFTER TESTING our patience by making us stew in the 40 plus degree heat for nearly four months, the gods above seem to have decided that they have had enough fun with us Hyderabadis and are making plans to move on. It is time to carry out their experiment elsewhere. The few grey clouds depositing their contents on this water-starved city of ours is perhaps an indication that the protracted summer is mercifully coming to an end. The nominal dip in the temperature has brought about dramatic changes in some people. A few, who had been reclining bonelessly in their chairs since late February and ventilating their grievance against the sun and everything under it, have begun to perk up. The prudent ones of course, will continue to remain in their cocoons and will emerge only when the heavens open up. The monsoon, once it arrives, will bring about many changes into our daily routine, and we Hyderabadis must learn to adapt. Here are a few things that every Hyderabadi should know in order to survive the coming season.
Know where the manholes are: Before the monsoon sets in, make it a point to know where each manhole is located in the routes that you frequent. For once the rains begin, the roads, if one can call them that, perform the disappearing act. The monsoon transforms many parts of the city into lakes. It is a case of "water, water everywhere"; sometimes the people of this wonderful city are compelled to wade through knee-deep water. In order to prevent the water level from rising to "alarming levels", the MCH authorities send a team of able-bodied young men out in the pouring rain to remove all drain covers. If you haven't taken the trouble of finding out where these are located before the monsoon sets in, chances are you will unintentionally discover the location of one by falling right into it. So, if you are not keen on manning a manhole and in the process attaining instant "moksha" make sure you know where the manholes are located--otherwise you may discover one at your own peril!
Know where the potholes and speed breakers are: It would be a good idea for vehicle users, especially those who drive two wheelers, to make a mental note of where the potholes and speed breakers are situated. Do not look for them once the rains begin; for they will be seldom visible. It is a well-documented fact that scooterists and motorcyclists in the twin cities zip along at speeds that are generally recommended for our fighter jets. So it is not surprising to see these daredevil drivers literally take off and then proceed to land with a proverbial `thud' when they hit a speed breaker or a pothole. In movies, we have seen the likes of Superman and Supergirl zooming gracefully around with the wind blowing through their hair, a long cape trailing behind them. You get the general picture. They are the stuff that superheroes are made of. The Hyderabadi superhero, on the other hand, flying clumsily through the air with a faded backpack strapped around his shoulders and a helmet that has seen better days doesn't present such a dashing figure.
Live wire: Many people think that as a city, Hyderabad is pretty laid back. Nothing could be further from the truth. Visit the City of Pearls during the monsoon season and people will realise this place is indeed a live wire. And I mean that literally, not figuratively. It is very common for wires to snap from the electric poles during the rainy season and give the people the shock of their lives! It would therefore be a good idea during the monsoon season to keep one eye peeled to the ground (to be on the lookout for open manholes, etc) and the other glued to the electric poles. Performing such an incredibly difficult task may result in the realignment of one's eyes; one may end up with a squint.
Avoid walls: And for those who have built new houses or bought new flats, the monsoon period is the time to find out how badly they have been cheated by their builders. The not so proud owners may find that their roof leaks, the drainage gets clogged easily, and that water trickles through doors and windows. During the monsoon season it is advisable never to take shelter next to a wall. Hyderabadi walls, new and old alike, have a tendency to mysteriously collapse when hit by a few drops of rain.
God-made power cuts: Summer is the time when we experience man-made power cuts. Come the monsoon season, we have god made power cuts. It could be that by the time the monsoon arrives, the Almighty above is so used to seeing Hyderabad in total darkness that he fails to recognise it when it shines brilliantly. As a result, during the monsoon season he sends bolts of lightning every now and then to knock down transformers, trees, electric poles. In general anything that will keep this city in darkness. And under the cover of darkness, the permanent residents move in for their feast.
Mosquitoes: The monsoon period is also the time when the famous residents of Hyderabad - the ones who put the Twin Cities permanently on the world map - return. One is of course talking about the ubiquitous mosquitoes. It is thanks to these friendly insects that Ronald Ross was able to discover the cause of malaria. God knows how many of these noble insects sacrificed themselves before Ross came up with his conclusion. Instead of thanking these insects, we Hyderabadis are doing everything to get rid of them. We try to scare them away using a not so friendly ghost_ "Casper". We try to lull them to sleep by singing a lullaby: "Goodnight". But no matter what you do, they are always there to bother you. If they don't get you in the bedroom, they lie in wait for you in a place where you are the most vulnerable - the bathroom! There is simply no escaping them. If only the Spiderman movie had been released during the monsoon season. We could have asked him to spin a giant web that could have protected us all from these mosquitoes. Instead of a World Wide Web, we could have had a Hyderabad Wide Web!
Coloured water from the tap: The monsoon also brings a rare sight - water actually trickling out of the tap. Of course, the water may be somewhat brown, or pink, or yellow, or green, or black and may smell funny. Chances are the drainage water has got mixed with the fresh water. But hey, we have survived the summer drinking water brought to us from god knows where in rusted tankers. Surely, our cast iron stomachs can deal with fresh drainage water. Bottoms up!
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