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All they need is kindness
An old man, abandoned by his children, cursing his fate at an old age home.
Remember your childhood when your grandmother or grandfather used to make you sit in the lap and tell you stories from the Ramayana, the Mahabharata or about Mahatma Gandhi? More than parents, it was grandparents that would take care of the kids in most families.
Today's children are increasingly being deprived of such a unique opportunity with the disintegration of the joint family system, resulting in the neglect of the aged. Senior citizens in many families are looked down upon as unwanted guests. The grandchildren remain glued to the idiot box most of the time, making their grandparents feel lonely.
The aged who were looked upon with respect and for guidance in the past are increasingly finding themselves alienated, with their children migrating to cities and metros as also abroad in search of greener pastures.
It is in the winter of one's life that a person needs greater care, love and affection. Unfortunately, the abuse of the aged is showing an upward trend over the years. Literacy has not made an impact on the youth to take better care of the aged. On the contrary, the more the educational qualifications of a youth, the greater is the likelihood of his neglecting them.
No wonder, more and more senior citizens are taking to old age homes, which is evident from the growing number of such homes in cities and even small towns. The neglected senior citizens curse their fate and bear the brunt but most of them remain tight-lipped about their sons and daughters, who have relinquished their duty towards them.
Hanumantha Rao helping his grandson with his homework, at the Prema Samajam Old Age Home.
The inmates at the old age homes long to see their near and dear ones. They have a tendency to identify their children when visitors or journalists meet them. Hanumantha Rao (71) had two sons. The elder one is employed in a private company in Vijayawada and the younger son, who was working in Visakhapatnam, is no more. The father was staying with the younger one as the elder son was unable to make both ends meet with his meagre salary. The younger son died five years ago. After his death, Hanumantha Rao did not go back to his elder son but got himself paying accommodation at the Prema Samajam's old age home.
His younger daughter-in-law works in a garment shop at Dwarakanagar. His grandson, Chaitanya Kumar, spends a couple of hours with him every evening after school. He teaches Chaitanya his lessons and sees him off at his house around 9 p.m. by which time his mother returns home from work.
But not all inmates are lucky to spend some time with their grandchildren, if only for a few hours every day.
B. Satyanarayana (80), a native of Dharmaraopeta in West Godavari district, has five sons and one daughter. The sons were all doing petty businesses. He underwent a knee surgery five months ago and the sons spent Rs.50,000 on the treatment. Later, they neglected him and his brother's son brought him to the city.
Satyanarayana, however, had differences with his brother's son and put up at the old age home. He does not wish to blame his sons.
A sister at the St. Joseph's Home for the Aged holding a prayer session for the Inmates.
Raju (55), an employee of Naval Dockyard, has a son and a daughter. His first wife died 10 years ago. He suffered paralysis of the right hand and right leg and opted for voluntary retirement.
He performed the marriage of his daughter and gave his entire earnings and property to his son, who is unemployed. The son, who is on the executive of the Chiranjeevi Fans Association, has no time for his father. Raju recently married Nirmala, an acquaintance, who is looking after him well. The couple has opted for paying accommodation at the Prema Samajam. "My son has threatened to kill me, if I bequeath any property to my wife," says Raju angrily.
Charles George (76), who has been staying at the St. Joseph's Home for the Aged for nearly a decade is a broken man. His father, who had served in the Tata Iron and Steel Company, Jamshedpur, had married an English lady, when she visited the company as part of a foreign delegation.
He remained a bachelor and his brother migrated to London. After the death of his parents, he has none to call his own in India. He worked in Hindustan Shipyard Limited here as a welder between 1946 and 1958. His outspokenness cost him his job. He tried to obtain a passport and go to his brother in London, but the man who promised to get him the passport fled with Rs.5,000.
Abuse of elders pervades all castes and communities, and the rich are as vulnerable as the poor. Recalling an experience on a visit to an old age home at Gudivada, an assistant professor in Andhra University's Social Work Department, Visweswara Rao, says: "I came across an old woman and asked about her well-being. The woman broke into tears and, after a pause, she replied: `I have four sons, all of whom are well-settled. They deserted me eight years ago but did not bother to find out how I am. I do not know who you are but you have inquired about my health'. Her words are still ringing in my ears," says Visweswara Rao.
He recalls another incident: An elderly woman died at an old age home at Gosala near Vijayawada. The organisers of the home thought it was their duty to hand over the body to her sons, who were residing in a nearby village. On getting the call, the son replied, "Why bring the body all the way here, throw it into the Krishna" leaving the home staff stunned.
This being the attitude of the youth towards elders, the latter are finding it increasingly difficult to suffer humiliation at the hands of their children and are heading for old age homes.
The average life expectancy in the country has gone up to 60 years. Senior citizens constitute about seven per cent of the total population. In view of the general improvement in health care, this is expected to grow up further. Such a situation can pose challenges to the Government and society at large.
Every youth should remember that they, too, would pass through old age some time or the other and be kind to the aged.
B. Madhu Gopal
Photos: K.R. Deepak
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