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Adopting new ideas
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The annual day of the Karnaprayag Trust held recently, showed that adoption has become a deliberate rather than a last resort choice for parents.
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IT IS a strange get-together at the spruced-up community hall parents walking in with babies in arms and toddlers in tow. The banner announces the Annual Day of Karnaprayag Trust, whose foundling home is next door. The beaming parents `circulate' boasting of their babies' progress the baby's first word, first steps and cute little mannerisms. All routine except the `cuties' are all adopted and present there for the benefit of those who have registered for adoption. It is a baby show with a difference.
Employees, professionals, businessmen, scientists, people from all walks of life gathered in the hall to take part in the programme. And notions about adoption have also changed. In most cases adopting babies has been a deliberate rather than a last-resort decision. And girls seem to be the preferred option.
Mrs. N came to Karnaprayag through friends after waiting 18 years to conceive. Six months after registration a `match' was made and she went home carrying her bundle of joy. "I wanted a girl," she says. "I have quit working to be with her all the time."
"Ten years of marriage and we began to think of adoption," says another adoptive mother. For a scientist couple having biological children was never a choice. "It sounds pretentious but we wanted to give these abandoned ones a chance," says the lady. "There are so many adorable girls around waiting to find homes. We have no regrets. In fact my mother-in-law can't even remember my daughters are adopted." How do friends and colleagues view this? She laughs. "In the circles we move, so many couples have adopted that you can call it a trend!"
The friendly young IT professional is on the waiting list. He is here to meet, to exchange notes with those who have adopted and gather tips on coping. He is candid about his pre-wedding resolve.
"My father worries it may not work. But with all these babies left forsaken is it right to bring another one into the world?"
Dr. Raj Narayan, a member of the `matching' panel says, "In the last two years more than 70 per cent have asked for girls. This is indeed a transition in thinking. It could be because the media have projected female infanticide or because more parents put their faith in daughters as old age insurance."
Karnaprayag's transparency in procedures has elevated adoption to a stigma-free life choice. A thorough investigation of the future parents' background, home, health and lifestyle followed by a long interview determines eligibility. Babies received undergo an extensive medical check-up and if all is well, they are ready to be adopted in four months.
The panel that includes a doctor, a nutritionist, a paediatrician and a social worker analyses the case. Then a baby is chosen to `match' the features of the adopters. Usually it is love at first sight. Yet, there is a period of temporary custody when the parents are encouraged to do their own medical tests. The centre then helps with the legal process and the baby gets a new name. "Rarely are the kids returned," says the visiting psychiatrist. "Prospective parents are counselled at all three stages of adoption. I write an emotional study report and check if the extended family welcomes the move."
Says a volunteer, "Meetings like this prove invaluable in preparing them. What clinches the issue is our transparency." Which is why the Tamil Nadu government picked them to take care of the 40-plus babies during the earlier `cradle baby' scheme, points out a panel member. Karnaprayag is at 10, Raja Krishna Road, Teynampet, ph: 24355182 or 24330164. For details visit www.karnaprayag.org
G.P.
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