Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
Made in heaven, solemnised on earth
|
As nuclear families become the norm and urbanisation a modern-day reality, Parichay Sammelan and matrimonial bureaus fill in a very special demand, says ANUJ KUMAR....
|
ALL DECKED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO: Candidates at the Jain Parichay Sammelan in New Delhi. Photo: Sandeep Saxena. .
LOOKS, COLOUR, dowry, caste, sub-caste and the stars the known obstacles that parents have to cross to search a dream girl for their son or an ideal groom for their pampered daughter were almost non-existent in case of Siddharth Jain and Rinku Jain. What proved a spanner, were their pay packets. Rinku, is drawing a mammoth Rs.16000 in comparison to Siddharth's paltry 8000 per month. New impediment joins the list, one chapter closed but not the book as many were found in knots at the sight of Prince Charming ready to tie that elusive knot on Independence Day at New Delhi's Talkatora Stadium during the inaugural Khandelwal Digambar Jain Yuvak Yuvti Pariwar Parichay Sammelan.
Delhi, the melting pot of myriad communities also poses multitude of posers for the parents to complete the life of their wards. With increasing urbanisation and changes in the styles and standards of living new criteria have evolved for partner selection but the age-old norms refuse to take a bow and thus emerged a cesspool of confusion for parents and prospective seekers and a whirlpool of marriage brokers and self-proclaimed social cause socialites.
"Ours is a small community of around 70,000 families scattered across the country. As we marry only in our community comprising 84 gotras, obviously people find difficulty in finding suitable match for their wards. So we decided to provide a platform where families can find life partners for their children," informs Nirmal Kumar Sethi, Patron, All India Khandelwal Digambar Jain Mahasabha.
Though the organisers provided ready access to computerised kundalis and conference facilities to those who wanted to thrash out the matrimony deal but it looked more of a tamasha with commercial performers gyrating to the tunes of "Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo", apparently sending shivers down even the portrait of Bhagwan Mahavir on stage. And back stage people fighting to mix and match qualification with height and colour with kalsarpa yoga. The gimmick was bound to backfire in a community where mothers were complaining that even the anchor should have been one from their sect as he is interacting with their betis.That of the 3000 odd-families invited only 200 turned up, itself proves that people have started seeing through these social publicity stunts basically meant to showcase their support or potential votebank.
"The problem is that in some communities like kayasthas and rajputs, girls, are more educated than the boys. So, it takes time to find a suitable match as people are not ready to compromise on other factors. When we advise them to go beyond their caste, they feel offended. Few realise that it's a better option than the gloomy sight of daughter adding wrinkles," says Poonam Sachdeva, who manages the Karol Bagh office of a leading matrimonial agency in the Capital.
Vir Singh, associated with All India Jat Mahasabha bemoans, "Ours is an agriculture-based patriarchal community. With the decrease in the land holdings people have shifted to cities but the landlord mentality is still intact. This impedes males' sincerity towards education. While girls because of increased media attention on emancipation, are enthusiastic about career leading to problems in finding suitable matches."
But what stops the youth in crossing the caste barrier?
"Perhaps the failure of love marriages and the inability of youth to stand up to one's decision. If an arranged marriage fails nobody asks any question but when the choice is of boy all hell break loose if the alliance fails," says Anand M. Sunderam, a chartered accountant working with a multinational company and looking for a partner. For Tamil community it is even more difficult as though Iyer, Iyengar and Madhwas are all Brahmins but for matrimony they are relation tight compartments. Same is true with Mudaliyars, Reddys and Naidus.
Anand raises a pertinent question. "My grandfather who was a freedom fighter used to say that before independence inter-caste marriages were not uncommon and people used to name their children as Gandhi or Azad irrespective of their religion. Is this the price of development and education?"
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Metro Plus
Bangalore
Chennai
Delhi
Hyderabad
Kochi
|
