Aiyyo swamiji & guruji!

Agnipariksha will do

Ask the swami to give a pen that never runs out of ink. Ask him to consume cyanide and stay alive or ask him to go on fast forever. Make him to jump off a plane without a parachute or run a road roller over him. Ask him to recite the Vedas at a stretch or make him take an `agnipariksha' and sit on fire for one hour. And, if he survives all this then give him a genuine swami certificate.

A. Vamshi Krishna,
Gudivada

Yeh dil maange Menaka!

With so many fake swamis around, time has come for Menakas to take control of the situation. Robots of pretty girls, which can dance half clad like Menaka in front of swamiji, will filter out the real from fake.

Neeraja,
Secunderabad

In lion's den

Swamijis should be taken to a zoo in procession where they should be asked to preach fasting lions and tigers during breakfast time about the moral code of conduct towards fellow beings. Whichever swamiji returns from the zoo will surely be a true swamiji!

Keerthi Chowdary,
Hyderabad

The inside factor

Scrutinise stealthily the inside of swamijis sleeves for the presence of a thin plastic tube attached to a `vibhoothi' dispenser strapped round his protruding paunch.

Watch his roving eyes ogling at the women folk surrounding him. That's all.

R. Ramachandra Rao,
Hyderabad

Trek to Tirumala

To catch the fake swami, we should ourselves don the role of a `big' swami and order other swamis to trek the Tirumala hills seven times on the same day without food saying that this was the message/wish of Lord Venkateswara to bring all round happiness in the lives of people.

Those who fulfil the wish are real Swamis and the others can be deemed as fake.

B.M. Kiran Kumar,
Hyderabad

TN police are you there?

To catch a fake swamy, call the Tamil Nadu police and inform that you suspect the credentials of a particular swami. That's all, the result will be before you within a few hours!

P. Spandana and Aditya,
Visakhapatnam

Gudivada

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