Karnataka - Bangalore

Money matters — talk it out with your spouse

Special Correspondent

Inability to communicate anxiety and fear creates rifts between spouses

Bangalore: The inability to communicate anxiety and fear to each other creates rifts between spouses. For instance, a woman may be from a not-so-rich background and may be annoyed at her husband's spending habit. The man in turn may be disappointed that his wife is not happy on getting an expensive gift from him.

"Money, whether there is too little or too much of it or just enough for needs, can create conflicts in a marriage and it is good for couples to be open to each other about what their income is and what they can spend and need to save'' says marriage counsellor Suchitra Rao.

Undisclosed debts or a habit of secretly helping other members of the family without the knowledge of the spouse can be damaging. "I have come across cases where the wife or husband keeps buying on credit cards and not let each other know about it. It can be very embarrassing for a wife to pick up a phone and hear a credit card company reminding her about her husband's dues," she says.

"Money is important in today's urban lifestyle and living within one's means is not easy for many. While there is nothing wrong in buying on credit, one should realise the limits and let the partner know about it. If you gently remind your wife that she already spent X rupees on new clothes last month and has to wait for sometime before buying more, she may sulk a bit, but will soon appreciate the situation,'' says psycho therapist Sunanda Murthy.

"I tell couples that an outing to a park and a simple meal or even a stroll in the moonlight can lift their spirits... it is the thought that counts and not the money spent,'' Dr. Murthy says.

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