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Young World
Living with fear
P. Raghu Nandan
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Have you ever been afraid? Fear is a basic instinct , it protects us and helps us survive.
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We sat under the shade of a neem tree, near a clearing where a net between two poles made a volleyball court. Two teams of village youngsters were playing and were having great fun. My friend, whom I had met recently, was originally a city man as he told me. He had come to this village as part of his M.A. Social Work programme and after several years came back to settle down for good. He had become teacher, social worker and games coach all rolled into one. I remarked that it was brave of him to have given up a cushy city life to live in the village.
``It's not as if I never knew fear,'' he remarked. ``When I decided to give up my job, it seemed like madness. But the greatest fear was opening the batting when Andy Roberts was bowling,'' he chuckled. I dare not ask him when and how, as he seemed capable of having done anything. ``Boy! That was real fear, not just the fear of losing my wicket, but the fear of having a few bones rearranged''. ``But I kind of liked it, it set the adrenal flowing and I did well.'' I had never known that kind of fear, because I had never faced Roberts or Marshall or anybody else like that.
Then he told me, ``Do you remember when we were children we were afraid of the sound of thunder? And then later on it was the sound of Deepavali crackers and dark rooms. But it was fun though to tell ghost stories and make scary noises in the night to frighten one another. Some of these fears go away as we grow up, but fear itself seems to stay on. We fear failing, doing badly in a game or not performing in a job.''
Fear has been around since the beginning of our lives, in fact since the beginning of all life. It just takes different forms. Since early childhood we have been told that to be afraid was wrong and fathers would tell their sons ``You must be brave, you are a man''. Somehow we did manage at least to put on a brave face, but deep inside some of those fears never went away. Fear is not just a negative emotion that we need to keep at bay. It is a basic instinct and protects us and helps us survive.
There are times when we are afraid of failure. One the fact that we may not do well and other more importantly, ``What will happen to my image of myself when I fail'' or ``what will people think of me''.
``I have seen batsmen at the crease, all stiff from fear. They were good bats and in form, but somehow they choked on their own fear. First we try to overcome fear. If you do not succeed in pushing it out or suppressing it, then this instinct is telling you something. Maybe it is telling you about the inadequacies of your abilities. May be you haven't trained enough for that sport and so on. If we cannot overcome our fears, let us then listen to it,'' he said with a straight face. ``Most problems come about because we resist fear, we want it to go away. "Do not resist fear. Look fear in the face and say loudly `Hi fear, welcome to you', and fear will then tell you if you care to listen.'' I had heard about brave people, but this was just fantastic, he wasn't talking about fearlessness (without fear) but he was telling me how to deal with it and live with it.
I watched the game and enjoyed the clear air . I wanted to say it loudly ``Welcome fear'' but was afraid. He said, ``You have to say it aloud, not mutter to yourself. That is how I played Andy Roberts and others, by looking fear straight in the eyes.'' I couldn't gather enough courage to ask him for his autograph, I decided that would have to wait for another day.
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